For more than three decades, Herb Cohen has been a practicing negotiator, intimately enmeshed in some of the world's headline dramas, from hostile takeovers to hostage negotiations. His clients have included business executives, entrepreneurs, sports and theatrical agents plus large corporations as well as governmental agencies, such as the Department of State, FBI, CIA, the US Conference of Mayors and the US Department of Justice.

While serving as an adviser to Presidents Carter and Reagan on combating terrorism, he was embroiled in the Iranian Hostage Crisis and credited with helping to shape the government's response to the skyjacking of TWA Flight 847 and the seizure of the Achille Lauro. More recently, his input and advice has been sought by the White House on a myriad of problems such as the Gulf Crisis, the seizure of the Japanese Embassy in Lima, Peru and the Camp David Mideast Peace Talks.

Unlike many theorists, he was actively involved in the negotiations that settled both the N.F.L. Football Players' Strike and the General Motors Chevymobile Litigation and also participated in the START Arms Control Negotiations with the Soviet Union.

As a result of his extensive practical experience and unique presentation style, Mr. Cohen is internationally renowned as someone who can articulate and explain complex events so that people are both informed and entertained.

He started formally teaching the subject of negotiating in a two week course for claims adjusters and attorneys in 1963 sponsored by Allstate Insurance Company. It was then that he first coined the terms "Win-Win, Win-Lose and Lose-Lose".

Herb Cohen's analysis, insights and humorous view of many of these high-level happenings have appeared in many international publications, and he himself has been the subject of articles in Time, People, The Economist, The New Yorker, Esquire, Readers Digest, Good Housekeeping, Newsweek, Rolling Stone and even Playboy.

He is the author of You Can Negotiate Anything, which was on the New York Times Bestseller List for almost one year and has been translated into twenty-six languages.

Finally after two decades his latest book, Negotiate This! By Caring But Not T-H-A-T Much was published by Warner Books in mid-September 2003. Written in the same humorous style as his first book, critics have said, "It's a must read for not only business people, but parents, politicians and consumers". "It shimmers with great insights and truths". "Herb is a gifted storyteller with a sense of mischief and an astute observer of the human scene". "If you're interested in ROI, forget the market, gold or even real estate, just go out and buy and read this book".

Over the years, Herb has appeared as the General Motors spokesman in their award winning television commercial that was shown throughout California. He has made audio tapes and CDs, videotapes and has been a guest on the Tonight Show, Good Morning America, The Today Show, Larry King Live, The 700 Club, Dr. Phil, and Sixty Minutes.

During the Cold War, Herb Cohen served with the U.S. Army, 14th Armored Cavalry Regiment on the East-West Border in Bad Kissingen, Germany.

While attending University and Law School he worked in many business and governmental organizations and ultimately became a faculty member at the University of Michigan's Graduate School of Business. Since then, he has lectured at many educational institutions and enterprises such as the Harvard Negotiating Project, Yale Law School, the Kellogg School, Wharton, the University of Wisconsin, the University of California-San Diego, McGill University, UBC and the Columbia University and Chicago University Schools of Business.

He has been the only outsider ever to address the Attorney General's Annual Conference of all the United States Attorneys. In addition, he has spoken to the U.S. Attorney's Offices of the Southern District of New York, in Chicago and the Northern District of California.

Herb and Ellen have been married for well over 40 years. Their children are Sharon, a federal prosecutor with the U.S. Attorney's Office in the Southern District of New York, Steve, formerly a federal prosecutor with the same office but now a partner in a New York law firm, and Rich, an award winning author of Tough Jews, The Avengers, Lake Effect, and The Record Men. Rich's new book, Sweet and Low, has recently been published receiving spectacular reviews in virtually every major publication in Briotain, Canada and the United States.

Thus far, the Cohens have nine grandchildren. Herb's secret passions are planting trees, from Glencoe, IL to Austerlitz, NY, bungee jumping and collecting hockey pucks.

Caring Too Much

For at least forty years I have referred to negotiating as a game, where you should care, really care.....but not t-h-a-t much. Based upon my personal experience and observation of others, it struck me early in my career, that when a negotiator had an overwhelming need to make a good deal he or she was handicapped.

When you care too much and are over-invested emotionally, there is an increased flow of adrenalin which causes you to become doped-up and dumbed-down. This results in loss of perspective, impaired judgment and a focus on failure.

However, if you have a viable option or other alternatives you can maintain your cool and confidence. And people always have confidence in confident people.

So always try to keep your composure and a detached view - distancing yourself from your natural impulses and emotions. This relaxed attitude (a balance between irrational exuberance and utter despair) can provide a bulwark against the onset of stress producing emotions (self-doubt, anxiety and hostility) - a psychological shield between the ego and the aggressiveness of others.

In short, your mantra should be, I CARE ---, REALLY CARE, BUT NOT T-H-A-T MUCH.

Concession Making

Concessions should always be yielded grudgingly. Conceding too easily or too soon will raise the expectations of the other side and result in their taking what you've done for granted.

Following are some additional principles:
1. PROCESS or "HOW" CONCESSIONS count.
2. Never bid against yourself.
3. You must be able to justify and explain your opening or risk losing credibility.
4. Be aware of your pattern of concession-making behavior. Move in diminishing steps, starting with your largest concession, followed by a smaller one and then the smallest. This signals that your best and final offer is being approached.
5. Don't give specific concessions against vague indications or general insinuations.
6. When you offer a "WHAT CONCESSION" make sure your counterpart realizes it's a sacrifice on your part. Moreover, they must labor for it and are expected to reciprocate.
7. Try not respond to their concessions or questions. Slow down and appear more thoughtful.
8. Don't rush your reply to their concessions or questions. Slow down and appear more thoughtful.
9. The timing of your "last and final offer" determines its credibility. E.G. THE PROXIMITY RULE.
10. Assume that the other side always has to go back for final approval. Hence help them with the packaging so they not only "save face" but appear to have done well.

Persuading, Principles and Precepts

Permanency exists only in the constant continuity of change, yet we are not prepared for that which is totally new. It takes time to adapt, and each one of these personal adjustments can bring on a crisis of self-esteem.

Reasons Why Change is Resisted?
1. Habituation and conditioning cause reflexive rejection.
2. The individual is committed to the current status quo.
3. We are emotionally attached and comfortable with that which is familiar.
4. There is a presumption that a valid rationale supports whatever currently exists.

Premise 1:

You don't teach people anything, but only help them find it within themselves.

Premise 2:

Arguments and debate are ineffective in modifying a person's position.

Premise 3:

Persuasion occurs most often via creative and novel reformulations which alters a person's way of looking at things.

Premise 4:

Changing an individual's attitude and perception about an event or situation is the most likely way for them to move from intransigence to accommodation.

Premise 5:

The Stronger and more direct the threat, the more rigid becomes the behavior of the party that it is directed against. In fact, it will only increase the target's perceptual distortion, defensiveness, resentment and resistance to change.

Premise 6:

When someone takes information shared with them in confidence and reveals it to others, there is a sense of betrayal. Such a treacherous disclosure marks the informer as a person who cannot and should not be trusted in the future.